One of the hardest things to do is to let go of something you love or you are hurt by. When the heart is fond of or bruised by something, it takes an intentional effort and engaging deliberations to say “Alright Bye” or “ I forgive you”. We have different and peculiar personalities. Hence, we will inevitably step on toes. How do we forgive ourselves or people when we are wounded in our hearts?
1. Yes, you may get angry– The Bible says, “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry”. It is only inanimate things which don’t get angry. Sometimes our expectations regarding people are faulted by their response to situations or how they treat us. The hurt is likely to make us angry. This is because man isn’t perfect, but anger is not a solution so do not harbour it.
2. You don’t have to react or respond when you are angry or hurt – I don’t know about you but I receive some eloquence when am angry lol. I could throw intellectual tantrums and not notice it. That is why you need to control yourself when you are angry or hurt. Some polite measures such as seeking permission to leave the scene or keeping mute goes a long way to cool one down. You will save yourself a relationship or friendship or your reputation and better still get the matter resolved.
3. Ignore – the truth is that some of the things that hurt our feelings range from trivial things to serious things. How trivial or serious a matter is, depends on the personalities involved. For instance, an insult could be of low offence to a person whilst a slander could be a non-negotiable offence to another. Some of the things can be overlooked because in an actual sense we can’t address everything. It depends on you and how you see it.
4. Address the situation – In building a friendship or relationship, we address those ones that might harbour rage and contaminate our spirits. Call (face to face/phone) depending on the availability of the person, create a conversation and highlight how you saw what they did (Remember that it’s hard to usually accept fault when it is confrontational- put yourself in his or her shoes). Take note, “time doesn’t heal offensive wounds. It only deepens it”. You can start by talking to the person You will receive your friend or family back.
As Christians, we don’t just forgive to do the offender good but also to make our hearts and minds be at peace and to imitate the act on the cross. Offence springs bitterness and hatred and these cannot live together with the Holy Spirit in us.
“Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the children of God” (Matthew 5:9). There is a blessing that the Lord showers on peacemakers. They enjoy peace regardless of the situations that surround them. They do not see forgiveness as a manipulative tool ( to pay someone back) but as an act of love and a proof of their walk with God.
Jesus is our example!!